


Things Left Unsaid (CYOA Option #2)

by kwrites2222



Series: Nora Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Choose Your Own Adventure, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9851780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwrites2222/pseuds/kwrites2222
Summary: This is the angsty, dramatic, and more 'raw' option for the Choose Your Own Adventure for Nora Shepard as detailed in the last chapter in the end of the first part of this series.If you're looking for the fluffier, lighter version of Nora Shepard and Garrus Vakarian's story, then check out the second part of this series entitled "Acceptance (CYOA Option #1)".Thanks for reading!





	

As Garrus sat on the civilian transport shuttle that would take him home to Palaven, his ears rang and his head pounded. It wasn't because of the loud environment around him - the shuttle was filled with children screaming at their mothers and soldiers debating about the Reapers - but because of the flashbacks that were bludgeoning their way through his head. The flashbacks marred with regret and disbelief in himself.

He was rocked by one flashback in particular: the night Shepard had finally told him she'd shot Sidonis; it was the night before he'd hastily had the shuttle take him to the Citadel... the night that they'd had the fight to end all fights. 

"You what?" he'd asked, jerking upwards and knocking her back a little. 

Shepard had pushed herself up and crossed her legs, cradling her head in her hands and looking terribly ashamed. 

"I'm sorry," she'd said quietly, "I didn't because I thought that it was the right thing to do."

“The right thing to do?” he’d yelled back. “For _who_?”

“Garrus…”

"I don't know you anymore, Shepard! At least before you got spaced you were consistently a hard ass but now? You flip the switch from compassion and kindness to a distorted version of who you used to be," Garrus snarled at her, "The Shepard that laid beside me in bed every night isn't the Shepard who shot Sidonis and kept it from me, or screamed at Joker or made a flirty joke to Thane: the Shepard that I got to see underneath the covers is the woman that I fell in love with - that's the woman who is consistent and strong and doesn't let fear compromise who she is. But now? I don't know where that Shepard is, but she's certainly not standing in front of me."

Shepard stared at him, letting each word he hurled at her hit her like burning shrapnel. She felt him slipping away, and it felt as if the Normandy was about to crumble underneath her and suck her out into the void. "I am scared," she whispered, "of losing you. And killing Sidonis... I thought that I could carry that burden for you. I didn't want you to lose yourself in Archangel and become the ruthless person that I used to be; someone without any regard for anyone else and their struggles. I thought that I could save you from that, but Sidonis would still be dead and he wouldn't suffer anymore... and neither would you."

Garrus stared at her. "You _lied_ to me: you kept it from me. For so long!"

"To keep something like this from happening," Shepard replied dully, "It was wrong and I am so sorry. I didn't want to lose you... I wanted to save you from-"

"Becoming like the ‘old’ Shepard?" Garrus interrupted. He let out an exasperated, sarcastic chuckle, "At least the old Shepard knew who she was and what she stood for. She was consistent. You... I can't explain what's happening with you. It's like you have two different Shepards living inside your head, battling it out, but each one is fighting a losing battle."

"I know," she choked, "I'm fucked up, but I'm trying to figure it out. And I can't figure it out without you. After everything that happened to me: getting spaced, dying, being resurrected, finding that box of memories... you're the only thing in my life that actually makes sense. You've always been my rock. And you're all I've got left. Tali is _dead_. Liara is off being the Shadow Broker. Ashley thinks I'm a traitor. But you've always had my back and I-I _love_ you. I can't lose you."

Garrus steeled himself and stared at her blankly, his rage making him feel numb and empty. Part of him was clawing desperately at the brick wall that was still fresh around his heart, begging him to forgive her and tell her that he loved her and that she'd always been his rock, too, but... she hadn't. She'd been spiralling since she'd found him on Omega, and he'd tried, obviously in vain, to stop her spinning into oblivion, but she'd still got there. Killing Sidonis solidified it for him: she wasn't the same Shepard that he'd admired so much on the SR-1, and the Shepard that he'd fallen in love with during the current tour had faded. 

_She's still in there! You just have to dig a little more_! The voice inside his head screamed at him. But he was tired - so very, very tired that he couldn't bring himself to dig around the massive debris field orbiting Shepard anymore. He'd lost her, and though the green eyes of the woman staring at him were pleading and  _her_  eyes, the unnatural red glow emanating from within them only reminded Garrus of how much she'd changed and how far she'd slipped from his grasp. The flickers of the old Shepard that he'd seen had just been that: flickers, like a dying candle sending out bursts of beautiful, bright flame before flickering out completely and going dark. Sidonis had just cost him his entire world... again. 

"I-I'm sorry," Garrus said finally, trying to keep his voice steady, "but I can't be your crutch anymore. I can't keep boosting you up while you figure out what you want or what the hell is going on with you."

He tried not to look at Shepard as her face fell; her eyes widened in heartbreak, her chest began to rise and fall rapidly, and she went pale. 

"This..." Garrus continued, not believing the words were coming out of his mouth, "This is over."

And then he did something that he never thought he'd do: he turned his back on her and left her when she needed him most. 


End file.
